"No matter where you go - there you are" - Confucius

"No matter where you go - there you are" - Confucius

This is a quote I heard a while back but I think it definitely holds true for me. I think when I moved to Dallas I had really hoped that being in this new location would change things for me. However, the problem is that no matter where you go - there you are. If I don't change myself my situations will never change. That is something that I am a little more realistic about since moving to Milwaukee. I have already ended up in situations where I am doing too much for other people but I know that at least that situation was temporary and pretty much unavoidable. The benefit of moving to a lab where no one really knows you is that they don't try to take advantage. They don't know yet that I have trouble saying no and setting boundaries. However, this experience over the last couple of weeks is enough for me to know that I do not want to and cannot repeat it. This though starts with me. I need to not volunteer to take care of things I don't have time for and I need to say no when I am able to (sometimes I will be in situations like this again because like this instance, it is unavoidable).

I may not have talked to everyone since I have moved but I am settling in to Milwaukee. I have to say that the move was a little tough. I forgot how scary it is when you move to a new city and know literally no one. This is a really hard thing to do on your own. I think the experience has made me stronger though. I am better at being on my own now. I have also tried to push myself outside of my comfort zone with doing a few events with meetup groups. I really like the city and I can already tell that I am going to like living here. However, that sentiment may change after I experience my first midwest winter :)

Though I know that I need to make changes in my life to take better care of myself I need to stop putting so much pressure on myself for all of those changes to occur immediately. One thing that I have been able to accomplish is getting to work earlier. Anyone who knows me knows that I am NOT a morning person. However my experiment HAS to start at 8 am which means I need to be in lab at least a little before 8. I have mostly been able to accomplish that. This is pretty big because this is something that I struggled with when I was in Dallas, especially in the last year. Now if I can get myself to bed earlier the morning thing won't be so hard, haha. The great thing is that I am able to leave lab by 6 almost every day and I don't need to work weekends usually. I am working this weekend but I am trying to get some stuff done before my mom comes for a visit.

So I am trying to change things little by little. I sort of stalled for a little bit for the last several weeks but I am trying to let myself off the hook for that. There was a lot going on at that time and I did the best I could in that moment. The next thing I need to focus on is getting enough sleep. I know that is a big problem right now and I can tell that the lack of sleep is starting to affect me at work. I have started a 4 week program to better sleep and am committed to trying to see that through.

I at least see the things that I am doing now here as a continuation of the changes I was trying to implement when I was in Dallas because no matter where you go, there you are.